you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
