He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
