eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
