I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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