bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
