so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
