I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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