I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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