Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
