Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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