I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
