Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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