things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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