quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
