I bet he comes in French.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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