last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
