You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
