Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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