I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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