True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just pee around me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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