Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
