Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
