You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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