My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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