Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
