If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When are your genitals available?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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