I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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