Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
