i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
