I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
