I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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