Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize