Don't you send me to vm
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
