I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
