Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
