how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
