dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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