Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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