I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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