I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
