party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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