if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
