dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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