Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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