I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
