oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
