I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
