Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
