You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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