Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
