Have you finally orgasmed yet?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of course I have a pirate flag
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
