Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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