Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Houston, we have a blender
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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