I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Panties = found
Randomize
