The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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