U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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