You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we're making bets on your personal life
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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