But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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