Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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